Mom Code Monday: Bodily Fluids

*Since I was a day late on my Sunday post, I'm posting this today so as not to bombard people. 

Not all aspects of parenthood are butterflies and unicorns, one such downer item would be bodily fluids. These nasty buggers are just part of your life while your child is young and cannot quite control their own functions.

For example, my 5 month old was sitting in her high chair yesterday, when she began to cry and scream.  For my normally pretty docile child, that meant something was wrong.  I went to pick her up and noticed a deep yellow-brown color on the front of her onesie.  I automatically know what that color means; it means that there is poop coming out of her diaper.....again!  It also means a bath and scrubbing out the outfit she was wearing because God forbid she only get it on the onesie.  40 minutes later, all was well with the world until she did the exact same thing 20 minutes later but to a lesser extent (no bathing necessary).

Bodily fluids you must endure as a parent:
-Fecal matter (Did I mention I had to scrub out the outfit by hand?  Who doesn't love that? *insert gagging sound*)
-Urine (This is nowhere near as bad, but during potty training, there can be large amounts of it all over your house and you get to play the "how do I get this cleaned up?" game.)
-Drool
-Snot
-Spit up (You've gotta love that hot liquid running down any unexposed skin!)
-Vomit (I like to live in a dream world where my children never do this act, but then reality sets in and I have a mess to clean up.)
-Blood
-Any variation of the aforementioned fluids.
-Anything else you can think of that comes out of your child that you'd rather pull your fingernails out than touch or be near for any length of time.

Not only do you have to see such nastiness in person, but you also have to have the ability and materials to clean up the atrocity. 

Bleach wipes/Lysol wipes will be your best friend.  A bucket always comes in handy as well as soap, bleach, and rubber gloves.  Paper towels will become your new best friend in the potty training stage.  A tub.  Nothing cleans your child up better then just putting them in the tub and hosing them off.  If you have a detachable shower head, you are golden.  If you freak out at smells, make sure you have a fan, an air freshener spray, and a face mask.  If you have a weak stomach, make sure you have a garbage can or another bucket handy for yourself or you'll have a vicious cycle of cleaning and vomiting on your hands.  (maybe literally)

Unfortunately in real life, you can't just do what Adam Sandler does in "Big Daddy" and just throw some newspaper on it, so put on your big girl panties and get the job done!

Last but not least, have a good sense of humor.  The ridiculousness of a situation and overwhelming feeling of what do I do now can be overcome with a good laugh.  While pregnant and working in a center, I had a child with a fountain of diarrhea.  I'll leave it at that, your imagination can fill you in I'm sure.  All I could do to handle the situation at first was laugh because of how absurd it all was.  Don't be afraid to do the same, you have to make it through the mass of bodily fluids somehow!