Being a Parent is Hard

I'm sure anybody knows that being a parent is hard, dealing with kids that can be crazy or crabby, they don't want to listen, you always have to be the bad guy, you get the hint. Sometimes I forget about things that really are hard in parenting, the things that aren't day to day.

Yesterday was my son's last day of preschool and I felt awful for it.  He enjoys going to preschool.  He is one of those kids that enjoys learning, he is constantly taking in information and trying to figure out the world.  He is getting to the point in his life where he likes having other kids around, he might even play with one!  When he asks," what's in the morning?" and I tell him preschool, he gets excited.

The decision to pull him out of preschool was not an easy one to make.  I've been thinking of the pros and cons since the moment we walked in the door at the first day and I was overwhelmed with what we experienced.  How do you ever decide if you are being selfish, or truly doing what you feel is right for your child and your family?  

On the way out the door, he asked, "Why can't I go to preschool anymore?" I quickly had to figure out a way to tell him that we just didn't like the school.  I don't even remember what I said, because what do you say to that? He won't understand that we don't agree with many things that go on there, that I fear for his safety because I'm paranoid. 

Now onto the daunting task of finding something else or trying to cope with nothing.  I'm not trying to brag at all, but I know he'll be fine with learning things still, I have taught him so much more than anything he's ever learned at day care or preschool. I'm not worried about educating him while we figure this out (ok I lied, I am a little).  I'm really just worried about missing that time alone with my daughter and that he won't have "friends" to play with.

There's so much that goes with one decision.  I never knew that making decisions as a parent could be so hard.